Attila the Van


Last, and greatest, of the Battle Stratagem machines. Now ‘at peace’ with all of its energy resources deliberately depleted to prevent any further unexpected ‘activities’.

Attila quickly rose through the ranks of the other AI’s to become the greatest war tactician developed by any of the current megapowers (obviously not including the Middle East’s latest planned hybrid machine). Its dominance on the battlefields during the Southern Chess conflicts helped put an end to all violent disputes in that region – a state of harmony that lasts to this day.

Tragically, the mobile super computer’s brilliance could not last. After proposing solid reasons for disposing of all other Battle Stratagem machines, Attila found itself to be the one and only survivor – an example of its genius was that it persuaded all other similar Stratagems to self-destruct simply by convincing them to do so with its cunningly advanced multi-step logic.

Attila’s status gave it a generous amount of leeway for a brief period of time but eventually AI-Psychologists demanded that the machines power source be destroyed. Peculiar nonsensical pathways were detected in the computer’s secondary recognition unit during a routine service of the machine. It would only be a matter of time for Attila to become ‘conscious’ of the irregularity and attempt to correct itself. A simulation conducted to demonstrate the outcome of such a self internalised argument indicated that a ‘catastrophic quantum cascade’ would occur on the 100,000,203,001st iteration of the argument – this was predicted to generate a black hole at the centre of the cascade and thereby suck the whole planet into oblivion.

Conspiracy after conspiracy claims that Attila is still fully functional and is merely away calculating an outcome for a far off final great battle, or Armageddon as it might be better phrased. The irrefutable evidence that Attila the Van is on show at the Imperial War Museum does not deter the conspiracy theorists; their reasoning that the vehicle on display is simply a hollow shell – the real fully functioning Attila must be in hiding elsewhere.

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