The Glittersniffer


Yukon Industries Au-79 Very Highly Automated Auric Detection Apparatus (aka “the Glittersniffer”)

During the collapse of money and stock markets in the “bust” post-war years, demand for more substantial and tangible commodities in which to invest soared to an all-time high. As ever, gold became the safe haven of choice for the majority of nervous investors.

In a direct reaction to this demand, Yukon Industries (and several others) turned their attentions away from military vehicles, where contracts where rapidly drying up, and back to the commercial sector. Or more specifically, to the geological surveys sector, for as a direct result of intense R&D into an array of detection mechanisms, and the development of exceptionally powerful and reasonably portable Quidnac systems, Yukon found themselves in the enviable position of having all the components of an exceptionally high-performance automated prospecting machine.

Sure enough, in an enviably short time, they were unveiling the Au-70 VHAADA – the world’s most advanced geological survey mechanism.

In terms of function, the Glittersniffer was a simple one-man marvel. A powerful electrical current is fed to the two leading outriggers set either side of the operator’s seat. Detectors on each outrigger then analyse the mineral content of the ground and feed that data to the Quidnac Analysis unit (Q-Au). Unfortunately, this current was so powerful that many rueful operators tell the story of accidentally letting a foot drag on the ground during operation, and they are always happy to show the scarred stumps where their limbs were vaporised. After a number of these accidents, the seat attachment was modified so that the prospector was elevated well out of harm’s way during live operation.

Highly manoeuvrable, incredibly fast analysis and exceptionally reliable results guaranteed the popularity of the machine: to such an extent in fact that if a Glittersniffer was rumoured to be surveying an area, something akin to the great Californian Gold Rushes would tend to occur as thousands of hopeful prospectors converged on the same location.

Eventually fraught operators began to take elaborate precautions to avoid being spotted, including camouflage, night operation and misdirection as to their results. Ultimately, as we all know, it became necessary to hire armed escorts, and finally the Glittersniffer was once again able to fulfil its function in peace.

2 Responses to “The Glittersniffer”

  1. Dr Smilax said:

    Can it find lost contact lenses?

  2. admin said:

    i think so. assuming they are made out of metal – which i’m sure they are in the land of the transportica.