Sprungtopf’s Tarantulifter


With Sprungtopf trapped in his Orb at the bottom of the moat (see reference at end) it was left to the castle’s Mobile Engineering & Science Section (MESS) to try and develop a solution to the problem before he ran out of oxygen and died.

Unfortunately it was over three weeks even before the design stage for the lifter was complete, and a further six months before the lifter itself was produced; but certainly no-one was able to say that the MESS team did not do a thorough job and see it through to completion.

Experiments have revealed that spider silk is superior to high-grade steel in terms of tensile and ductile strength, and therefore an obvious choice for a lifting operation of this kind. Specially enhanced tarantulas known as Bio-Operated Robotically Improved Spiders (or BORIS) were developed, largely thanks to the king’s own research over the years. These enhanced arachnids produced thread capable of lifting several tonnes if fed on a diet of flies with a side order of depleted uranium.

The illustration here shows the completed Tarantulifter in deployment position. The tarantula can be seen in a semi-clasp position, and observant viewers will have spotted the neural implant to allow the operator to control the spider’s silk production and basic movement. In this case the implant is encased in a lead weight to allow the spider to sink through the waters of the moat.

Levers at the operator’s station allow control of silk generation, grasp and lift as well as basic forward/reverse control of the twin engines powering the drive wheels of the platform itself. Note that the platform is transported on caterpillar tracks – closer inspection reveals that these tracks are indeed made from real caterpillars, bred for flexibility and load-bearing properties.

Impressively, Sprungtopf’s Orb (by now his tomb) was indeed lifted from the moat via the Tarantulifter, and the whole operation was hailed as a complete success. The fact that the king was long dead by this time was merely an annoying detail to the Engineers of MESS.

Related Post:
Sprungtopf’s Orb Royale

5 Responses to “Sprungtopf’s Tarantulifter”

  1. brotherS said:

    lol @ MESS + BORIS!

    Well done 😀

  2. mouser said:

    hahah i love how non-chalant they were about actually rescuing him.. it seems to me this was truely an age where people were more interested in technology for technology’s sake, than they were for actually accomplishing things.

  3. admin said:

    Don’t forget that his Majesty was a bit harsh on his human subjects. I think that explains the delay – it’s a surprise they bothered at all really.

  4. shane j said:

    was this not contrary to the decree of Thaddeus Braxton?

  5. admin said:

    Almost certainly.